About 20 years ago I did a blog with the same headline. A radical lesbian took umbrage and did her best to get me canceled.

The only rationale i could come up with this vicious attack on my 1st Amendment rights was that she must have struggled catching bass in September when all fishing parameters seemed just about perfect.

That’s the tie-in with menopausal women. My sweet wife of 54 years and i survived menopause. Men tend to be consistent during this life passage. Men may be jerks–but at least we are consistent.

Mood swings in a woman going thru menopause tend to come for no logic or rational reason.

“I love you, you rotten S.O.B” pretty much sums it up. Fishin’ has been tough on pool 9 for over a week for no logical or rational reason–except for an amazing amount of eel grass working downstream limiting presentation to essentially a single hook.

Water temp is 70 degrees–exceptionally warm for the day before October. River level is near-perfect. Water clarity is good. Weather is stable.

From a logical and rational perspective, fishin’ for bass and other species should be somewhere between good and excellent.

But lately, success rhymes with ‘ducks’ and ‘trucks’. The only rational conclusion i can come up with is is too much easy food in the water column.

Prey species have plenty of weeds, wood & rocks to hide in with species numbers at their highest point of the year. All a predator has to do is open its mouth and swallow a tasty, natural meal–without a hook in it.

A single hook like a jig, NED or wacky rigged senko in a finesse presentation just isn’t as desirable as a pod of baitfish swimming cluelessly in front fo a fish face.

Reaction bites are tough, cuz eelgrass usually finds the hooks before a fish does. The typical gamefish hook up rate between 5-10 per hour is now maybe one–especially with walleyes, which are a little smarter than stupid bass or pike.

Like menopause or a lesser glitch in rational consistency which younger females struggle with every 28 days the best advice this old guide with more than a half century with both menopausal women & September bass can offer is find something to occupy your time away from the love of your life.

Do NOT put yourself in an adversarial relationship with fish or women during these trying times. Fish just shut their mouths. Women don’t.

Think I’ll go squirrel hunting tomorrow.

Eelgrass is a MAJOR factor on pool 9 now. 20×20′ rafts of the stuff are easing down the main channel and clogging running sloughs.

Water temp on the river was 69 on Sept 23, down from 73 last weekend. The week before that it had dropped to 62, waking fish for their fall bite. With warm weather predicted over the next 5 days, many of the scaly critter will likely go back to snoozing–with the exception of bass which are even dumber than they normally are–and bluegills which are hanging in both rocks & wood.

Walleyes have been coming over the gunnel at a rate of about 1 per hour the past couple weeks. part of the reason is weeds, the other major factor water temp.

Perusing the fishing diary that i’ve kept for over 40 years, the surface water temp for Sept. 20 is a solid 10 degrees warmer than the ‘norm’ for the past 20 years 9with just a couple of outliers)

The diary also says Oct 12-20 offers some of the best fall action for SMB, eyes, pike & crappies. I hope to be out there every day during that time period. There are four days when i would consider guiding but not looking real hard for work.

Seems like every other trip a fish that refuses to be tamed decides to take the bait. Yesterday I was fun fishin’ for bluegills at a deep scour hole full of wood below a wingdam that usually gives up 3-4 tanks, fishin’ a bucket-sized opening between two tree trunks.

I was pondering why there were no bites when my 9′ St. Croix panfish rod bent DOUBLE, Then the fish got mad. I use 15 lb. braid on my panfish rods. If you’re fishin’ where the fish are, you’re gonna get hung up. With braid and a little technique you can get the hook back about 90% of the time, bend it back to function nd get back to fishin’.

The beast that ate my 1/32 oz. jig wrapped me up in wood twice, but came free with steady pressure. 15 minutes later I only had about 6′ of line out from the rod tip, 5′ away from the boat in a tangle of timber.

Ol’ ugly finally gave in to the pressure, hooked in the lip of a wide flat head, clearly visible just a couple inches below the surface, impossible to net. One Stevie Wonder headshake and the hook popped free, essentially bent straight.

She was at least 15 lbs. I don’t think she could have been much bigger. But tangling with a 15 lb. mudcat on a 9′ panfish pole in a woody jungle is about as good as fishin’ gets.

Putting a client on this kinda thrill is very gratifying. On the other hand, there are a finite number of times this will happen for me on this side of the dirt.

You can always make more money. You can never make more time

Glancing up at towering bluffs which shield the mysteries of pool 9 on the Immortal River the splendor of fall color is clearly visible behind the facade of late summer greenery.

Focusing on the business of serious fishin’ electronics should reveal a surface temperature in the low 60’s–maybe upper 50’s.
Just one week ago the river was flowing at a cool 61 degrees, maybe a couple degrees warmer on a sunny afternoon. She was flowing near action stage. Walleyes & bluegills weren’t biting aggressively on the wingdam rocks like they typically are by mid-September–and the leafy sentinels guarding the River’s passage were a serious summer green.

The carpet simply hasn’t matched the drapes so far this month–with the exception of eel grass sliding downstream making lure presentation ‘challenging’ most of the time.

On 9/11 the River level started falling toward typical summer pool levels. Three days later the water temp had rien a solid 12 degrees, goading fish to ponder instead of pounce.

Fish activity became incrementally better as we eased into mid-week with stable water temperatures and River level–even with grass forcing pretty much a single hook presentation to consistently hook up..

The white bass activity which was rampant on rocks and current seams on 9/11 with water temps in the 60’s has slowed from frenzy time to one or two between a pretty easy SMB bite with the occasional bonus walleye.

With River levels remaining stable these willing scrappers are subtly herding shad waiting for a 10 degree drop in water temperature to signal go-time.

Bluegills are now on the rocks in good numbers, crappies are staged in deep water trees about halfway down in the water column, willing to bite but not exactly eager yet.

With nature getting back in sync over the next couple weeks green bass will be dogging balls of baitfish in typically unproductive spots back in the running sloughs and joining pike to chase bluegills on the rocks.

A lifetime on the Mississippi has taught the importance of LISTENING TO THE RIVER. Curve balls like rapid & significant changes in water temperature and River level will always slow the bite for a couple days.

A change in wind direction carrying barometric pressure movement can have a similar effect. A passing towboat can have the same impact. Fishing can go from red hot to stone cold in a matter of minutes.

but the changes can go the other way, too. if you’re in harmony with the River you can actually FEEL it and take advantage of the bounty–just like dipping birds which see white bass or smallies chasing minnow to the surface.

eyeballs glued to the screen of a Forward Facing sonar might reveal bass hanging suspended off a tall muddy bank which didn’t look “fishy”, but eyes trained by grandpa to recognize a colony of crawdad holes on the bank often has fishers diving for landing nets before those folks playing NASCAR on the water bring their flashy , rude rockets down off of plane.

When the veil of green pulls back from the bluffs to reveal full autumn splendor in just a couple weeks most of humanity will leave the river to chase other dreams.

This ol’ dog can hardly wait. The time is fast approaching when the river might even see my Lund on a Saturday!

This year Labor Day weekend falls on the cusp between Fogust & Slumptember. The River doesn’t care if folks don’t find fish where they usually find them this time of year.

The River has been flowing long before our species came up with the concept of time, long before native Americans used the moon and stars in an attempt to find patterns that would help the hunters & gatherers feed the camp.

My time on the planet started about 30 trips around the sun after man thought he could bend the River to his will by constructing 33 massive lock & dam systems. A half century before this time that fount of wisdom : Congress, mandated the USACE maintain a channel for navigation.

With my time on the River winding down to just a few trips around the sun–maybe only days–the USACE is well along in achieving their mandate as far north as pool 9.

have you noticed the river mainstem seems to be moving just a little bit faster as we transition between Fogust & Slumptember? Gravity will force water to do that in a big straight ditch!

Most who have had some experience fishing on the fast flowing ditch mainstem of the River during the clownfest called Labor Day are wondering why bluegills aren’t hanging on mainstem structures like wingdams like they are SUPPOSED to do come Labor Day.

The short answer is that the River is running a couple feet deeper than thy are used to over this holiday. River level is driven by rainfall or snowmelt entering the system from across one-third of America. With Pool 9 morphing quickly into a big ditch this is the new ‘normal’…and ‘gills are gonna go with the flow.

The situation is akin to walleyes relating to wingdams. When the river is running faster and higher, eyes relating to wings will move closer to shore. when current here is too great, they’ll stage on the downstream side of the wing.

Closing dams run parallel to the flow. Wingdams run perpendicular. The active walleye bite happens on closing dams before marble eyes become active on wingdams when the River is rising or falling somewhere between easy fishin’ on the rocks because there is even less current on the backside of a closing dam than there is close to shore below a wingdam–generally speaking. They’ve been pretty active here over the past few days as the River continues to fall below ‘action stage’ after that big rain induced bump that happened mid-month.

The same pattern holds true with bluegills relating to mainstem rocks near that time we call Labor Day. The gills are staging on mainstem rocks, preparing to move just a little to wingdam rocks which will happen when the River is ready to fall another foot.

If you follow this blog you know about my special Saturday & holiday weekend guide rate. My good neighbor’s daughter just got home last night from college, with a #1 priority of goin’ fishin’.

Robert says he will help me take down an elm tree that’s uncomfortably close to the house once the ground freezes. I took him out Friday morning to look for ‘gills on the rocks close to the rocks where those who don’t fish the River every day expect to find ’em during clownfest.

We only fished ’em for about an hour. He took home 15 jumbos–my self imposed limit on gills coming home in my boat. I’ll wage young Violet will get her string stretched several times at this spot when the sun shows up in about 3 hours on Saturday morning.

Lord willin’ I’ll be back on the River Tuesday after all the Darwin award finalists are done ramp camping, returning to that world driven by clocks and calendars.

Be safe out there this weekend!

Gullywasher rains pushed through the upper Mississippi River Valley over the past 48 hours, bringing river levels up over TWO FEET. It is still rising on pool 9, but should crest by Aug. 20 and begin to fall, getting back below action stage by maybe Saturday.

Although the Army Road boat ramp was still open at noon, I expect it to close Wednesday morning for a day or too.

Fishing is tough when the River is in a state of major flux like that–with two notable exceptions.

channel cats will move tight against the shore above snags here there is a moderate current with a sandy bottom, still relating to the same snags/driftpiles they’ve been cruising for over a month.

Crappie have similar movement, typically dropping a foot or so deeper in the snags they have been relating to. Water clarity is the biggest problem. Slabs are never far from heavy cover. With “chocolate milk” you need to hang the lure just over their scaly faces.

Dirty water is about the only time I would even consider using minnows for crappies. usually I attack them with both a vertical & horizontal presentation. One will usually outfish the other by a wide margin. Figure out what’s working and go with it.

Jigging spoons are my fave vertical presentation. Top of this list is the slender flutter spoon by B-Fish-N tackle. Snags are a certainty if you’re fishin’ where the fish are–especially if you use something with a treble hook. I clip off two of the treble’s hooks.

One hook is all you need, cuz you’re in a stiking presentation. Crappies in wood are already staged, ready to make a rattlesnake-quick dash of a couple inches when ‘food’ comes by.

If the slab decides to eat it will be back in heavy wood before you can set the hook. Fish need to be moved instantly if you consistently wanna put them in the boat.

My fave stick is a PSG 102 crappie rod from HT Enterprises. The PSG 102 is 10′ long. HT offers 11 & 12 footers too. The 10′ justs fits better along the gunnel of my Lund.

For line I prefer hi-vis Sufix braid in 30-40 lb. test. Thirty pound braid is stiff. In hi-vis it’s a better strike indicator than the most sensitive graphite.

A 10′ pole allows you to fish directly over the hook. With fish suspended down -36′ over at least 10 fow, there is never more than 4-5′ feet of line between the hook and the rod tip.

This isn’t about a sporty tussle, kids. It’s all about putting meat in the boat.

Of course, when you try to lift a 14″ crappie out of the water her “paper” lip is gonna tear. I taped a fine mesh short-handled trout net to the end of an old telescoping cane pole.

A snap o’ the wrist shoots the net out to full extension under the fish like a spatula with a mesh bag under it. next stop: livewell.

Pool 9 has been flowing at ‘action stage’ for over a month. Heavy rain which flooded Rochester and Milwaukee over the weekend had no impact here.

The River is projected to fall to normal summer pool levels over the next few days. Water clarity is good. Temp 77-80 degrees. Weeds are already somewhat of a factor already.

Bass-LMB,SMB & WB have been the most predictable species…which is just what you would expect in mid-August. The walleye bite continues to be a dawn & dusk thing with active feeders cruising in 7-13 fow.

There are a gazillion 3′ long shad in the system now with all gamefish species chowing down on the bounty.

Bluegills are usually stacked on wingdams and other rocky structure by mid-August. Picking up a few good fish here–just one or two per spot.

If the River continues to fall as projected. The rock bite for gills should be pretty easy by about Aug. 18.

Shad should also be schooling in huge numbers by then too, with bait clouds typically suspending 5-9 feet down back in the running sloughs.

Find the shad and a chrome Rat-l-Trap will tear ’em up. I always have one loaded…but a wacky rigged #yamamoto senko or a blue fleck Ned TRD have been catching a lot of fish all summer long

The new Albin boat launch will close again soon due to rising water. Adding about 12 loads of gravel to the access road at 3 places near where the road enters the parking lot would enable critical mid-pool access to the West side of the River.

Recently, this access was closed for about 10 days. looks like this is gonna happen again by Monday. In both instances down time would be cut in HALF with judicious placement of just a few roads of gravel.

Several jurisdictions maintain this access. USACE is the bureaucracy with the final say. They told me an environmental impact study would have to be done before they could authorize some gravel placement on an existing road in the flood plain.

This is a huge raft of CRAP! Trees fall in the River every day more than equal to impact of a dozen loads of gravel inland. Does this require ‘study’?

Those who access pool 9 from the west side of the River can launch 2 places on highway 82 until this fall…then these access points will be CLOSED UNTIL 2027.

Any emergency response from the west side of the River on the upstream FOURTEEN RIVER MILES above Village Creek boat launch on the south end of Lansing will be the ONLY workable rescue option once Blackhawk Bridge closes and the River goes to ‘action stage’ at Lock & Dam 8.

In an average year there is about 6 weeks where the River has gone past ‘action stage’ to minor flood & beyond. Not talking these times. Talking about the THREE WEEKS so far this year when a boat could be launched on the West side north of Lansing where 12 loads of gravel could have kept the ramp open.

Of course I have a personal stake in this issue. i’m on the River at least five days a week during the open water period. Probably 60 % of the time I like to launch at New Albin cuz its close to home. But there are hundreds of boaters who access the River from the West side every year.

What will be the impact when all these folks are forced to launch at Village Creek? PLEASE contact USACE and tell them to initiate that bogus ‘impact study’ so we can get some gravel before the bridge closes !

Water temp was 77.2 yesterday on the upper pool. Water clarity was decent once you got away from tribs dumping chocolate milk from recent rains into the system.

Some days weeds are a factor. some days not. Fog is an issue many mornings lately. This issue will increase next week when Fogust arrives.

Black buzzbaits have been a KILLER on LMB & pike over submergent weeds on muggy days. There effectiveness is driven by static tension on the surface (bubble trail)…more than 2′ and a buzzer is the HAMMER.

When weeds are a factor, panfish are an option. Gills relating to wood 5-7 fow. Crappies slightly deeper. they are also relating to American water lotus (lily pads).eelgrass mats are perch magnets. Fish within 6″ of the bottom with a tiny pinch of crawler, a red hook & a couple orange beads.

Those who go out on the River telling the Almighty what their gonna do are setting themselves up for disappointment. Success comes when the ego is buried and you listen to the River’s quiet whispers.

Pool 9 is flowing about 2′ above action stage making River access a little challenging. River level has stabilized, with forecast calling for it to remain at this level for perhaps the next 10 days.
water clarity is good >excellent–4’+ in some running sloughs. Water temp is 80

Active walleye bite is 5-7 a.m. with active fish holding in 7-13 fow. MR6 in ghost craw & Bomber 6A in Caitlin pattern both effective. Weeds can be a factor when pulling upstream @ 2.2. Impact can be minimized by trolling downstream @ 1.6. Don’t forget to pulse the rod!

LMB very active on #yamamoto senkos where water clarity is 2’+Stopped @ 25 fish this morning in just 2 hrs. Over half were 14″+

White bass are busting shad up by the dam and back on steeply breaking sand shoals in the running sloughs. Hot bait is #5 Flicker shad/chrome.

Perch are tight against eel grass over sand bottom in 3-8 fow. Orange & chartreuse jigheads w/tiny pinch of crawler pretty deadly.

Pike have been clobbering black buzzbaits & black/blue Jackhammer chatterbaits with 4″ paddletail trailers.

SMB are tight to the rocks on the River mainstem. 1/10 oz #Zman Size 1 Shroom jigheads w/ blue/black or perfect perch TRDs have been very effective.

I have 4 available dates open the last 2 weeks of July, 8 open days in August. Not gonna work any more than that. There are a finite number of days to fish in this lifetime. Only about 130 open water days the rest of this year–none of which is guaranteed

Water levels are just a little above normal summer pool–pretty close to perfect. Water temp is 70 degrees. nearly ideal.

Walleyes have moved into summer pattern, with an active bite from 5-7 a.m. and 8 pm til dark. Willowcats are killer (if you can find them) fishing counter seams at steeply breaking rocks. The #5 Flicker Shad in silver shad is still top dog when pulling. Most willing fish are holding in 7-13 fow. Drifting sand flats just off the main channel with 1/2 crawler and 1/8 oz jig effective at these depths.

SMB are very active on rocks. East side in morning, west side in afternoon. Go to is 1/10 oz #Zman stand up jighead with Black/blue or perfect perch TRD. .

LMB are stupid on #Zman jackhammer chatterbaits in black/blue with paddletail trailer fished in weed pockets. Frog fishin’ productive on emergent weeds in running sloughs. Black buzzbaits should be good once we start seeing more muggy weather.
It’s all about the bubble trail! 3+’ and its buzzbait time.

Wacky rigged green pmpkin pepper purple flake #Yamamoto
senkos always good for both LMB & SMB on rocks with quiet water.

Pike have been kinda weird. Last time out, boated 7 in 9 fow working a TRD just off the bottom (looking for SMB). Haven’t ben hooking up in the usual places with the usual baits lately.

Bluegills are post-spawn active now. All panfish are biting right where you would expect to find them.

The whole secret to hooking up is going after the species the River want to give you. I’ve been on the River 119 times this year. It ALWAYS takes me at least an hour to decipher the message she sends

The only reason i write this blog is to share the joy of fishing with others. This is also the main reason I’m still guiding after 50 years.

In the course of this journey there have been a few anglers I’ve seen grow from boys into men, with a true vicarious thrill seeing their passion for angling and skill set improve with time.

One of these Young Turks is 35 year old David Dvorak, jr. His Dad and i have been solid Buds for over 40 years building on a brotherly bond which can only be forged in combat. Dave senior & me didn’t carry guns. We humped hoses into burning buildings as career firefighters.

Dave’s kids, DJ & Tommy became like my own kids. About a dozen years ago DJ and i had a long conversation about his future : stay in Janesville, Wi. and work in the family landscape biz or follow his dreams of becoming a teacher of both math and the outdoors experience in the Colorado Rockies. This past school year DJ organized 48 river rafting and mountain climbing trips, taking dozens of middle school kids on overnight adventures.

He doesn’t come home much, so when Brother Dave said DJ wanted to go fishin’ the Miss with me again the need to make this fishin’ mission happen was set in stone.

I don’t like guiding on weekends, especially on my birthday. But the chance to see DJ’s angling skills set the stage for a birthday to remember.

Out in the rockies DJ learned to use a flyrod and chase trout. He wanted to apply this skill in battle with a swarthy northern pike.

usually hooking up with a toother pushing double digits only takes a couple hours at most. But if you don’t think God has a sense of humor–try telling him what you’re gonna do!

Over the next six hours we caught a bunch of bass, several with substantial dimensions, sauger and walleye. I caught the only northern. If this fish was wood it would have been the perfect handle for a ball peen hammer.

It was getting right down to ‘one more cast” time. I told DJ to drop his fly off the end of a gnarly limb in the midst of a mess of water willow–a spot about the size of a five-gallon bucket–then focused on using the MinnKota to make the task a little easier.FISH ON!!

DJ’s 8 weight Reddington rod loaded up with a heavy critter with a bad attitude. Pike fight hard. Bowfin (a.k.a. dogfish0 fight harder. For my nickel dogfish are the best pull in the River.

Fifteen minutes later Brother Dave slid the net under a throwback to Jurassic times almost 30″ long. Catching a dogfish on a flyrod is a rare and difficult feat. I shot video of the whole battle. After a quick measurement and foto the fish was released.

Once home I checked the record book. It looks like DJ Dvorak has a new World Record bowfin using fly gear and a 1X tippet!

DJ said it was his 1st ever dogfish and the biggest fish he had ever caught using a flyrod. Telling a client where to cast and seeing them catch a PB on several different levels is the best birthday gift an old guide could ever imagine.

No apologies in sharing this story with y’all. If you want to know about River conditions right now; pretty close to perfect.

tight lines!